Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize