no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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