Banned from zoo.
Again?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
