You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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