Just cropdusted the office
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
