i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
