Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
