Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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