So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
