Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I could fuck to npr.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
