grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
