You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
