i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
