OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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