Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
