Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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