This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The ass gains better be worth it
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