Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
