You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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