This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish you could order shots online.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
