I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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