Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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