4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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