you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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