she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
