Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
