this boner is exhausting
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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