The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
FUCK WHALES
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