i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
