I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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