I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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