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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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