last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
