I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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