oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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