That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
