i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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