where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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