problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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