im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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