i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
