I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize