Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
