She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
