i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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