Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
