Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
