just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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