Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
