It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Let's paint friendship bongs
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was a blind-side dick pic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
