i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
