Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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