we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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