Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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