he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
