He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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