just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
