i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am spending my child support on dildos
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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