Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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