It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
