I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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