my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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