I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
