Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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