i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How does it feel to date your dad?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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