I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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