I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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