I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
