I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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