You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We need a shit load of segways right now
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
