im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
